Jerk Offisers – The Webpage!

Jerk Offisers Photo LongJerk-Offisers-Sticker-2015

Follow the Jerk Offisers on Facebook!

Watch all of our videos on YouTube!

Hi, it’s me, Adam Crochet, singer, songwriter, webmaster! The Jerk Offisers have essentially refused to do their own webpage so I’m hosting their page on my site, adamcrochet.com. In honesty, the Jerk Offisers is made up of some well-respected New Orleans musicians, even if they’re playing garage rock. And, yes, they have that original/classic sound that shakes asses to exhaustion. That being said, they drank all of my fine Tequila and smoked everything. Then they kept implying that I should open my eyes, meanwhile their eyes were just barely open- and mostly bloodshot- so here’s your stupid webpage, jerks.

The Jerk Offisers is New Orleans’ biggest dumbest conspiracy rock band! The Truth is Dumb, and we can prove it! We don’t claim to have all the answers- we don’t have any!

Have you ever wondered what it would sound like if Leon Russell had collaborated with the Dead Kennedys? No? Did you ever wonder what it would sound like if a band was created purely to defeat Steven Segal’s band? No? Do you believe a building can fall straight down into its own footprint by accident? No? Have you ever looked at your life and thought “This seems so pointless and yet- deep down inside- I feel like there really is a point”? Anyways, all of that = the Jerk Offisers! If you can believe that either we went to the moon and found something strange or we never went at all, you may enjoy The Jerk Offisers. You know what’s crazy, if you believe that we went to the moon and came back just like they said on TV, you may like the Jerk Offisers too- we’re that good! But the real question is not What makes us so good?- It’s What makes us so bad? The answer is: We just do what a great band would do and then have more fun. Easy! Did I mention we’re from New Orleans? So, gumbo I guess. And lagniappe. What else do you want to know?

Stupid Origin Story and Lineup:

Bassist Nate Lambertson (Mike Dillon Band, The Kirk Nasty) was hired after agreeing to book the first gig and for his bass mastery and wide-ranging sound/haircuts.

Drummer Mark Whitaker (Woodenhead, Snooks Eaglin) joined as an expression of stoicism and genuine disregard.  He brings a huge pocket and also all of the drums.

Graham Robinson (Zachary Richard, Daria & the Hip Drops), a well known bass player, was hired to play guitar on a strong hunch. It can’t be overstated how much of a Jerk Offiser Graham is.  He’s a huge one!

Tom Worrell on Keys (Solomon Burke, Tom Worrell) – They must have some compromising photos of New Orleans legend Tom Worrell, though it boggles the mind to imagine what would embarrass the man. Some say he’s masterminding the melodic subversive, but that’s just a rumor.

Adam Crochet (Big Chief Monk Boudreaux & the Golden Eagles, the Jerk Offisers) came up with the whole thing and wrote the songs. Known for trying to be clever, he is the Chief Executive Jerk (CEJ) of the Offisers.

In the case of any DEFCON level, when they need reinforcements, the JerkOs call in:

Dave Easley – Pedal Steel, Minister of Propaganda

Kelly Carlyle Smith – Guitar, Vocals, Uprightitude, Horizontalness

Steve Malinowski – Keys, Ease, Helmets, Trees

Phil Breen – Keys, Stealth, Tactical

Jimmy Sweetwater – Percussion, Vocals, Chakras, Tanks

Kyle “Astreaux” Cripps – Saxophones, Futurism, In Charge of all Walkie-Talkies

Devin “Funky D” Kerigan – Bass, Disguises, Cool in a Crisis

Bill Richards – Bass, Vocals, Science

Nick Hughes – Drums, Tiny Explosive Drums, Maps, Badges

Matt D’Orazio – Guitar, Sounds, Using a Compass, Water Divination

Lucas Davenport – Keys, Maps, Eye-Patches, Thunder, Choruses

Tim Robertson – Guitar and vocals, Surviving the robot apocalypse

Our Guarantee: If you’re not 100% satisfied with the Jerk Offisers there is plenty of other stuff out there for you.